This I Believe

Kayla - St. David, Arizona
Entered on January 31, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: integrity

“This I Believe”

When I would think about life, I would imagine happiness, love, and so much laughter. I would imagine an endless amount of friends and family. I imagined the stereotypical “perfect”. With these past three years I have come to realize that my fantasy was not true at all. That life isn’t all smiles and giggles, and there is always going to be that person that glares or points their nose in the air as you walk by. I believe that that is ok. I believe that life is what you make out of what you have; I believe that happiness doesn’t find you, but you have to find it, and I believe that true love can withstand anything that crosses its path.

I still remember the way I felt when my husband’s mom would tell me I wasn’t good enough. Her and her daughter’s disgusted look when I would walk in the room or get anywhere near my husband. All I wanted was to be accepted, to be understood, to be liked or maybe someday loved. I knew that my husband loved me, but why not his family, what was wrong with me?

I played sports in high school, along with two of my husband’s sisters. We were dating all through high school, so of course, I was ignored or snickered at, I was called horrible names, and sometimes booed at when we would play in games. They refused to pass the ball to me, set the volleyball to me, or be my partner in the batting cages. It hurt, but it was what I expected. I found myself becoming beaten down, sleeping a lot, and always crying. My family was furious that someone could treat another human being this

way, and was very concerned about my health, and safety. They would always ask me, “is he (my husband, then boyfriend) really worth all of this?”, but no matter how many times I cried, the way I felt about him was and is still the same.

I grew so tired of always being sad, of always feeling defeated. I made a decision to change, and that is exactly what I did. I found happiness in everything, and when something or someone was trying to beat me down, I would do my best to either brush it off, or solve the problem. I felt better, I looked better, even my grades had become better.

There is always going to be someone or something that will try to bring you down, that will try to take your happiness, and that will completely misunderstand you or not accepted the person that you are. I believe that no matter what, you can never please everyone. If anything, please yourself; find happiness, true love, and lots of laughter.