This I Believe

Shannon - Carrollton, Texas
Entered on January 31, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family

When a six year old girl loses her innocence by force, she isn’t left with much to believe in. Love, trust, self-esteem and worth seem like fairy tales. Everything that was once there suddenly disappears. Surely no one deserves such a horrible experience, but then why did it happen to me? What did I do wrong?

After my dad found out, I became very close with him, epitomizing “daddy’s little girl” as he protected me from everything. Growing up he was my best friend and we always pulled pranks, went on ice cream dates, and danced around the house like freaks. I saw that I have a special relationship with him, one that few of my peers seem to have with their fathers. Nine years later I was harassed again. I broke. I asked GOD why. Why did HE let this happen to me—again? I didn’t understand. The whole world turned into a corrupt and distorted hell. Every time I received a compliment, or rather anything positive, I assumed it was false and perverted. The human race was despicable. If anyone cared about someone other than themselves little girls like me wouldn’t have to suffer. I didn’t believe in anything. I had no reason to.

GOD answered my questions and opened my eyes when I met my perfect boyfriend Derek. Our meeting seemed like chance, but in my heart I could feel that he is different. Derek glows. He’s driven, adorable, a strong Christian and we have never been in a fight. He is here to protect me just like my dad, but my father cannot stay by my side forever. Derek can. Most people just tell me that’s love. But I know it’s more than that. I believe that GOD sends angels, and they walk the earth.

“Oh I believe there are angels among us,

sent down to us from somewhere up above.

They come to you and me in our darkest hours

To show us how to live, to teach us how to give,

To guide us with the light of love.” –Alabama

My elementary school played this song on the announcements after the first instance. And it played in Derek’s car after the second.

I believe my father and boyfriend are blessings from GOD. Loving, trusting, self-esteem and worth building gifts. Only because of my past can I understand and truly cherish my relationship with my angels. It is because of them that I have anything to believe in and I thank GOD for them everyday.