This I Believe

Cindy - hialeah, Florida
Entered on January 25, 2007

Candle in the Wind

My mom would always tell me “Life is like a candle in the wind, it can blow out at any moment so enjoy the time you have with it”. At the time I didn’t understand what it meant; I thought it was just a silly saying that she would just keep repeating to annoy me, until recently when I lost my uncle. My uncle was a great man and was very strong, he always tried helping people and after a precious 40 years of life, my uncle was diagnosed with skin cancer. When my family and I found out the news it was horrifying, we never expected this to happen. I have seen families that have dealt with this issue before but never mine. I was blind to think that something so horrible could happen to my family.

After that day things were different, they weren’t good and they weren’t bad they were just different. I had a whole new perspective on life, I would touch every leaf that fell from the trees, every petal on every flower and smelled every scent there was to smell. I left nothing unturned and untouched, I tried so hard to grasp life with one breath, with one touch, with one smell. I sat in my bed for days asking myself why this happened. “Why my uncle? Why Me? Why Cancer?” I wasn’t sure who I was asking, but I was just asking, hoping for a response.

After two years of suffering my uncle passed away. I was angry when I found out that they found a bone marrow transplant but he was too weak to under go surgery. After his death I realized how precious life is, I realized how one moment your smiling with the people you love and the next your finding out you have only a while to live. My uncle passed peacefully, when I found out the news a whiplash of memories hit me. Such as the time we were outside, I had left my sweater at home and he took off his and gave to me so I wouldn’t be cold. The memory was so real I could smell the cologne on the jacket he had sprayed earlier that morning.

I thought about everything throughout those days, about how many times I was angry at my mom because she wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to do or how many times I through a fit because I didn’t get what I wanted. “How could I have been so selfish and stupid”? I would ask myself.

Today I live differently; every time I depart from someone I love I tell them how much I love them. I promised myself I wouldn’t be a victim of life’s sudden blow out of the candle, instead when it is my time I would leave knowing that if I would stay alive for one more day it would be the most boring day of my life.