This I Believe

Homer - Fort Worth, Texas
Entered on January 24, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50

I believe in Anger. Not the rage leads you to “anger management” or screaming fits any time something does not go your way, but a just and focused Anger. Anger drives me to be a better man. I have many sources of my anger. Anger at myself for not completing school sooner makes me work harder as a student. When I first graduated high school I wasted scholarships and support goofing off in college. I flunked out and now 14 years later, I am working twice as hard to get an education. Anger at the medical system made me strive to be a better EMT. I worked hard to learn how I could make a difference on each call, and in each patient’s life. Anger at companies that saw medicine only in terms of profit made me quit being an EMT and led me to the job where I met the woman who has become my wife. Anger at the state of the world made me reexamine my political leanings and leave behind my conservative roots. Anger at my father for a physically and emotionally abusive childhood makes me want to be a more loving parent, more faithful husband and a less violent person. I am now learning to let go of my anger but keep the good things it drove me to become or strive for. Letting go of anger makes the world seem more alive and welcoming than I have ever seen it. As the anger leaves, it is replaced by the love of my wife, and I seem to have a greater capacity for that than I thought possible. I believe the anger I held onto for so long forced me to reach new emotional depths and those depths are still there to be filled as the anger leaves. The anger helped my survive depression, hard times and things a person should never have to see. The anger made me a better man and by leaving me, it is making me an even better and much less bitter man. That’s why I believe in Anger.