This I Believe

Leslie - miami beach, Florida
Entered on January 24, 2007

I believe that cellular phones should be used for emergencies only. Remember back in the days when only the cool dudes had them? You could spot them in a second because they were the guys that were wearing them on their belt buckles. And you definitely wanted your wife or mom to have one in case she got a flat tire on the highway. That is if you could get her to lug that big heavy thing around in her purse. But then again, she never had it turned on for those really important calls like when she was at the grocery store, and you ran out of beer.

Those were the good old days. I believe that we should go back to the times when we used to have to sit home all day and wait because the guy that we really liked was supposed to call. We couldn’t possibly move from the house. Forget using the vacuum cleaner or jumping in the shower. We might not hear the phone ring!

At what about the times when you would actually go to lunch with a friend and be able to have a whole hour of their attention? Remember actually making eye contact without having to reply to the constant flow of text messages from your other friends who were at different lunches ignoring the people they were with?

The other day I was getting a bikini wax. I am not sure if you men out there realize what is involved in this process. You remove your garments (I’m talking all of them), and then you lay down and a lady you never met before asks you to put your legs in the ‘frog’ position. Use your imagination. I believe that during these very awkward moments the cellular phone should be kept on silent, or better yet, put away. I don’t know how she did it but this lady managed to manipulate the phone, the hot wax, breaking up with her boyfriend and well, my privates. Just imagine, all this without the use of a blue tooth!

Whatever happened to the days when the cellular phone was used for emergencies and the landline was the norm? Nowadays, our home line (and our home for that matter) is used solely in that dire emergency when the cellular phone loses its juice and you have to rush home to charge it. At least the dead battery gets us to sit home for full hour (or at least 15 minutes) to recharge and then we’re OFF!

I believe that if cellular phones were used for those ‘only emergency’ moments then the movie theaters, yoga classes, lecture halls, weddings, Bar Mitzvah’s, board meetings, religious ceremonies, symphonic performances; why, just about any occasion would be a hell of a lot more enjoyable. And, I believe that it would also save ‘that guy,’ (you know the one who forgot to turn off his ringer) a lot of embarrassment.

And this, I believe.