This I Believe

Amanda - Indianapolis, Indiana
Entered on January 11, 2007
Age Group: Under 18

Every day in high school you always pass the big masses of gossipy girls, and they get you hyped for the latest rumors don’t they? You listen in and hear the latest on which couples broke up, who hooked up, what parties were the best, and which girl is their next victim. They can be vicious! When you make a girl angry, you see her true colors and her claws. It’s especially true if you befriend her man. That is a girl’s territory and you do not go near it. I have been in a situation like that, and it is not fun. And it’s all because I fell for my best friend.

This year I became really great friends with a guy named Shane, and we became almost inseparable. We talked on the phone every night, hung out as much as possible at school, and talked a lot during geometry. I knew after the first week that I liked him more than a friend, but he had a girlfriend. I knew this one wouldn’t last because they normally don’t. His past couple of girlfriends all dated him then dropped him. Soon they broke up and I knew I should tell him I liked him. I held back though because I didn’t think I was good enough for him or that he saw me the same way. Then one day a girl who I thought was my best friend moved in on him. She asked him out and soon they were dating. They didn’t act like a couple though. They never went out on dates, she never held his hand, hugged him, kissed him, or walk beside him in the hallway. Every night I would hear the same story. He wanted to show her affection, but she wouldn’t let him. And I would sit there and wonder why I couldn’t be like her.

One night, my best friend Brittney and I were out having fun. We were at the mall and I of course was talking about Shane. So Brittney just looked at me and told me to tell him already. As we walked around I wondered if I should tell him. We left the mall and headed out to get some dinner.

Later that night as we were heading home I called him. I put him on speaker phone and soon the three of us were laughing and talking. Brittney looked over at me and whispered to tell him.

Earlier that day Shane and I had started a game called Truth in geometry. Truth is a game where you ask someone a question about themselves and you have to tell the truth. Since it was my turn to ask a question I decided I would use it to tell him.

“Shane….” I said. Silence. “Shane?” I looked at my phone and Brittney screamed.

“AMANDA! YOU’RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!” she yelled. “THERE’S A CAR COMING!” I moved back into my lane and started laughing as Brittney got over her heart attack. Brittney was livid. I dialed up Shane’s number again. Soon the laughter was back as Brittney told Shane about my screw up. Then she looked at me and I knew it was time to tell him.

“Shane?” I said quietly. “Do you know I like you? More than a friend?”

“Do you know I like you too?” he answered. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Do you know I’m being serious?” I asked him back afraid of his answer.

“Do you know I am too?” he asked. It became silent for a while.

Brittney sat there in her seat looking like she was about to burst, and had a huge smile on her face. We pulled up to her house and she got out and gave me a hug.

“Good luck honey! I love you!” she said as she headed for her door.

I talked to Shane on my way home. I got to my house and headed up to my room. That night we talked on the phone until one thirty in the morning.

Since then we have been close. Telling him made us closer, but caused a lot of drama. He did like his girlfriend, but wasn’t sure if it would last between them. He was constantly trying to make up his mind on what to do as I sat back and supported him. His girlfriend didn’t approve of our friendship. She and one of our other friends started rumors about me. Some were easy to handle and some weren’t. Soon people were calling me a slut and accusing me of trying to steal him from her. I easily took the blame every time she was upset and took in every rumor. I blew it off like nothing, but deep down I was hurt. Here were these two girls that claimed to be my best friends, and they were saying pretty bad things about me. I never told Shane what they were up to because I didn’t want him to get hurt by it. So, as every day passed with more rumors, I put up a front so no one would notice how much it truly affected me.

One night over break, the girl who was helping with the rumors was over at my house. She pretended like the rumors hadn’t come from her, and we pretended everything was fine. She started telling me how she thought if I wanted Shane I could have him and how I could get him to chase me.

A week later while we were still on break, Shane called. We were talking about random stuff and having fun like we normally do. Then I got a call. I told him to hang on and answered it. It was the girl who had been at my house. I told her I was busy and to call back. I clicked back over and he and I started talking again. Then he got a phone call. So he clicked over. While I was on hold I got another phone call. I picked it up and it was her again. I told her to wait and I would call her on my house phone. I clicked back over, got my other phone, and called her. She picked up and said that Shane’s girlfriend was mad at me. Then he clicked back over and said the same thing. I asked him why and he said he didn’t know. He and I decided that we would hang up so he could talk to her. Then I asked her why she was. Turns out that his girlfriend was there and she gave her answer. She told me that she didn’t trust me, she was stupid for giving me a chance, and that I wasn’t allowed to talk to him anymore. That’s when I realized this girl and I didn’t know a thing about each other and we weren’t friends to begin with. I hung up the phone in shock. And from then on things were weird.

Shane and I worked things out. And then school started back up. That’s when it happened. They broke up. She dumped him. There were soon rumors flying around the school that it was all my fault. But he promised me it wasn’t and not to worry about it.

I believe that girls are vicious and hard to trust. I believe that you should just ignore what they’re throwing at there. They just want to get inside your head and make you think that you are what they’re saying. Don’t stoop to there level because in the end you’ll get hurt worse than you already were. I learned that if you have true friends at your side then you have nothing to worry about, and soon you’ll just be yesterday’s news.