This I Believe

Diane - North Conway, New Hampshire
Entered on January 9, 2007
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family

If You Ever Wonder

Once upon a time in an everyday life, there was a girl and a grandmother. When the girl was very young, she knew her grandmother. As time went on, things took place, some say they were bad, and the girl was kept from her grandmother. The memories were stored with the grandmother and in the photo albums. The girl was too young to hold onto the memories. The years passed and she forgot about the grandmother. The girl’s life went on, she got married, had children and eventually became a grandmother herself.

One day, while the girl was being a wife, a mother, and a grandmother, she suddenly remembered. She asked about her grandmother but no one would answer her. She knew where to find her, but she was afraid. She did not know what she was afraid of….but nonetheless, she was afraid. She decided to trust and believe the people she loved and did not attempt to make contact with her past. She thought of her grandmother often, but life went on. Some days she forgot….other days she wondered. She longed for her grandmother, but did not go to her.

The grandmother lived her life. She had pain in her heart from the mistakes she had made. She knew that the consequence for her mistakes was having no family. She had friends who loved her but she thought of her family often. She saved newspaper clippings and made scrapbooks of photos. She did not contact them; she thought they didn’t wonder. She had hobbies that were similar to her granddaughter’s hobbies. She made beads, she sewed, she crocheted and knitted. She especially loved her cat and named her Honey. Honey was always happy to see her and never got mad or went away. If she made a mistake, Honey still loved her. When Honey passed away, she got another cat and named her Honey. This pattern continued over the years.

One day, the grandmother was 90. She was very tired and very sick. She had no one to call for help, so she had strangers take her to the hospital. This was not her first trip to the hospital, but it was to be her last. They told her that she did not have long to live. She was ready to go. She was tired of being alone. She worried about Honey.

When she was about to close her eyes, she saw the granddaughter standing there. They looked at each other as if time stood still as it did 41 years ago when the girl knew her grandmother. Their eyes met, their tears matched, and the grandmother said “come here…I want to kiss you.” The girl went to her grandmother and got the kiss she had waited for. Suddenly everything was okay. They held hands, they smiled, and the grandmother went.

If you ever wonder, go and find her.

Do not wait to let 41 years pass by. Pain can be profound, people can be hurtful, and sometimes time makes things worse instead of better. It is good to respect those who you love and understand their pain, but it is important to form your own opinion if you ever wonder.

If you ever wonder, go and find her. Chances are, she’s waiting for you.

Dedicated to My Grandmother Pearl…3/24/06