This I Believe

Ann - Green Bay, Wisconsin
Entered on January 9, 2007
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

Inexplicably true love

I open my eyes, yet for a moment see nothing. Helplessly, I blink until sleep releases its hold. Rolling over, my primitive solution to a vulnerable nightmare, I poke my boyfriend in the back until he stirs.

Without embarrassment I weakly whisper, “I had a nightmare, Steve. It was horrible.”

Gently, he reaches over to pull on my waist until the dense, dark hairs on his chest smother me. His warmth envelops me into safety. He mumbles incoherent words of comfort while I turn my head into his broad shoulder. Instantly, I forget my fatigue. Moments later, after the deep, stinging pools of tears subside sleep once again comes naturally.

Hours later, I wake up hot and thirsty with the sun I my eyes. Steve still holds me tightly around my waist as he drools with reckless abandon. Without considering the time, I gently close his mouth and drift back onto my cloud of sleep.

However sporadic, these restless nights and comforting mornings are constant reminders of my happiness. For three years I have been waking up next to the same man, and for three years the same man has forced me to realize everyday that I am happy. In the beginning, I was young, immature, and naïve; now, I am happy, confident, and an individual. Steven gave me these things, and everyday Steven adds one more trait to the list.

To define an abstract emotion, many supplement the expected definition. Yet, because of my boyfriend, I can define the abstract of love in my own words. I believe knowing the type of eggs my boyfriend prefers, and even though I hate over easy, eating them with him anyway, is love. I believe that knowing my boyfriend will go bald and grey and only loving him more for it is love. I believe that loving the back hair on my boyfriend is inexplicably love. I believe that getting angry to the point of fury, yet somehow never giving up is love. I believe comfortable silence is love. I believe realizing things about yourself through another is love.

I never thought I would know what love truly is. I never imagined I could be happy with a simple life. I never imagined my boyfriend to be the man he is. Yet, most importantly, I never imagined I would be the person I am because of my boyfriend’s endless love. I believe I will never be me without this man. This, I believe, is true love.