This I Believe

Monica - Esparto, California
Entered on December 20, 2006
Age Group: Under 18

Stepping outside of my comfort zone

Three years ago I had no idea of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life after high school. When I first came to high school I was automatically out of my comfort zone. I was so used to the way things were in middle school, then I came here and everything changed. I never liked change because I felt like it was something I could not control. My friends and I were growing apart because we didn’t have the same classes, teachers were stricter, and classes and homework were harder.

All of this brought me down because I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to face all the challenges that I had to deal with day by day. I just wish somebody could have told me, or warned me, of what was coming, in high school but no one did. Then I had my first serious boyfriend. I was so happy with him and I thought he was happy with me.

It was three months after when he gave me a “break-up letter”. I will never forget how that letter made me feel, vulnerable lost, and confused. He became a big part of my comfort zone because I had never cared for someone as much as I cared for him.

Those first lines read, “I’m dealing with a lot of things right know, with school, sports and family problems, things are just getting to stressful for me I just don’t have time for a girlfriend right know, I know you must really hate me right know but I hate myself too” I stopped. I couldn’t read anymore.

I knew they were all just lies to cover up the truth. He just got bored of me and he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He was my support system, my comfort I don’t know how I got so attached to him but I did, and I couldn’t admit to myself that it was over. I noticed how much it affected me. My grades were lower and things just kept getting worse and worse after that. I didn’t know how to stop myself from stepping away from all this chaos.

I made a lot of mistakes because I couldn’t accept change. Thankfully, I got out of that state and I found somebody who I could confide in and trust. That was what I needed someone to make me realize that change can be good. My grades recovered, I was even in the honor roll this past quarter and my parents are so proud of me. I learned that change is something you have to accept. It is unavoidable and I need to be strong to overcome it. And that sometimes I have to step outside of my comfort zone to realize the strength I have within myself.