For me, an assignment that takes thirty minutes to complete will be done ten minutes before class. A project that was assigned four weeks in advance will not be done until an hour before it is due. If I have to RSVP or register for an event or a class before a certain date, I won’t do it until that date. Some people call it a problem, others call it ADHD, but I, I call it a gift. I believe I am gifted in the art of procrastination.
I believe that if procrastination was a religion, I would be the Pope.
I believe that if procrastination was a business, I would be the CEO.
I believe that if procrastination was a nation, I would be the President.
“Kelley, you should try to use your time wisely” I hear many of my family and friends say. But I feel as though I do use my time wisely, wiser than most at least. Keeping your nose in the books and doing assignments before they are even due can’t possibly be a wise usage of time. Nothing can be wiser than seeing who has written on my wall on Facebook.com, eating red delicious apple slices with peanut butter, or watching the Law and Order Special Victims Unit marathon. I mean let’s face it, when is another one of those going to come on? That paper I have to write isn’t going anywhere.
“Kelley, this is a problem.” Come on, you can’t possibly think that procrastination is a problem. Some of my most creative, most outstanding, most ingenious work has been the product of good ‘ol procrastination. I believe that I work best under pressure. The adrenaline rush I get from doing things at the last minute is exhilarating. I amaze even myself sometimes when my last minute presentation is better than Lil Susie’s who began hers when it was assigned. (What a pansy) I enjoy staying up until 5:17 in the morning and getting less than two hours of sleep to finish a paper that is due at eight. I find the bags under my eyes to be rather charming. The sense of accomplishment I feel from receiving an “A” on something I waited until the last minute to do is like no other.
I understand why my parents may be disturbed by my love affair with procrastination. Scientists, doctors, and scholars have filled their heads with lies that my inability to commit to a task is the precursor of an underlying mental health problem. I’ve been evaluated for everything in the book.
I don’t have ADD. I don’t have ADHD. I’m not depressed. I’m not a perfectionist.
I just can find more interesting things to do than homework. What’s so bad about that?
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