This I Believe

Lonnsrey - philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Entered on December 11, 2006

I am Something

Remember when you were a kid and someone asked you “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Most people were probably quick to reply a traditional profession like a doctor, policeman, or lawyer while others opt for something more exciting like an actress, rock star, ballerina, football player, etc. I, on the other hand, had a blank look on my face. Of course, I thought it would be cool to be a singer too. But I struggled to seriously find something I really wanted to do, something I could do with a passion.

I got myself into so many different hobbies. I tried about a dozen things to see if I was gifted at anything from painting to rollerblading to sewing (it was worth a try). But to no avail. There was nothing in this world I rather do day in and day out and not get tired or bored of. What’s worst is I have a short attention span! I would start something and never finish it; even to this day. Since I couldn’t find anything I was talented at, this lead me to think I was not special or I was never meant for anything. It was really depressing to think how useless I was.

Now in college and graduating soon, I still haven’t figured it all out even as I apply for jobs under project management. But I don’t feel as useless as I use to be. After meeting so many people from different walks of life and how they “ended up”, I don’t feel so insecure anymore. Many people like my professors majored in a something totally different than what field they were in now. Some of my friends who have graduated are either in a job they love or hate, nevertheless they are always searching for a new job or opportunity. But they all had one thing in common; they were happy where they were.

I guess it doesn’t matter where you are in life, as long as you keep searching and have a positive outlook in life, then everything will work out in the end. Maybe I still won’t find something I’m good at in the next month, next five years, next decade, and so on. But I know whatever I’m doing then, I will try to be happy and most importantly, that I am special, even if I don’t know why yet.