This I Believe

Norma - Ellicott City, Maryland
Entered on December 11, 2006
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: parenthood

Many women combine their goals working and taking care of their families at the

same time. Other women goal is to be a full time mother because this is the most important role in their lives. I have found several advantages in both types of goals. From my own perspective, I used to believe that to be a mother was my only priority, for that reason I had to quit my clerical job to take care of my children. However, later I have realized that I want to take a chance, at the same time, to develop a career to also satisfy my personal goals.

First, each person has goals, dreams and priorities and probably most of these goals require money. In general I agree with it, but there are some important priorities in my life that involve my children and my husband and they are more important than money. People talk about being a full time mother means doing housework, cooking, cleaning and shopping, but these are the easiest things to do. The difficult part of being a full time mother is to spend time with your children. You can not find a book that can teach us how to raise a kid. You have to find by yourself because each kid is different than the other. Another reason that made me to decide to be a full time mother was that I was too busy with the day to day tasks that I was missing so many details about my children. I could not accomplish to work and be a mother at the same time. I believe that to be a full time mother is another kind of job that involves creating a relationship with my children and enjoy them every day.

Second, as I mentioned, being a full time mother is my priority number one, but this priority changed several months ago, when I went to San Francisco to visit a friend from my childhood, Alicia. She and I were like sisters in my country, Peru. Both immigrated to United States with goals and dreams. “I want to be a Doctor” she said, and at one point I believed that she will be, because she was the smartest student in my school. To my surprise, I found my friend making tortillas in the flea market. “This is a good business” she said “I am making almost a $ 500 dollars every weekend”. When I asked about her dreams to be a doctor she explained that she could not do it. “My future is my daughter’s future”. She said, and claimed that she was working hard in order to send her daughter to San Jose University. My friend Alicia sacrificed her goal and dreams for her daughter’s career. Returning back to Maryland I was thinking about my dream to become a teacher. On the other hand to be a full time mother was my first priority too. How can I balance both, be a mother and set-up my goals? That night I discussed that question with my husband. We agreed that I can return to college, but only as a part time student. This way, I will have more time to be with the children. Sometimes is hard to make the steps that it will take you to reach your goals. I learned that if you try to do too much at one time, you will get overwhelmed. That’s why; I have decided to make my priority number one being a mother. Being a teacher will be my second priority, so, right now I am a college student at Howard Community College on a part time basis only.

Finally, I think I have the right plan, because the other night after dealing with my son’s fever, he said to me “I love you mommy”. That was my pay back to be with my children even though he said that at 3 o’clock in the morning. Everyone has hopes, dreams and goals, but not everyone can achieve them because they do not have a good plan.