This I Believe

Liliana - Chula Vista, California
Entered on December 10, 2006

I believe that during our lives all of us will be challenged with decisions. I believe that based in our choices through out life we will be changing our way of thinking and even changing physically. I believe that every single choice that we make patterns our lives into one direction, and leaves one choice down.

I had one decision to make at the age of 11 that noticeably took me into one direction to start my life going.

My first belief (my experience) and my first important decision in life happened once upon a day on my 11th year in the world; the day my parents divorced. Dividing my life into two paths I had to choose from. My parents asked me who I wanted to live with. That really made me feel a whole lot of feelings at the same time, like loneliness, love, unloved, betrayed by my own blood and confusion was the strongest one. I couldn’t understand why they were dividing my life and forcing me to choose only one piece of it? It took me a long moment to understand why they had put me in that position. I understood it finally. It had just not worked between them, so I had to pay for it. I believed that it was at that point that I was holding my entire future in my non experienced hands. They were waiting, looking at me, straight in the eye, each of them individually, hoping that I choose ‘‘her’’ or ‘‘him’’, maybe just to win the game. I chose her. Why? Because I wanted the coziness of a mother next to me every instant of my childhood. I believed that my mother needed me more than he did; I knew that he could live without me, I knew that she couldn’t. He moved to another country, we stayed, and she had to start working, alone, as a single mother, with two baby daughters, here we go.

I believe and I am sure that this is how it had to be. I chose this side of the park to walk in. I believe that what I have learned by being by my mom’s side; I could not have learned anywhere else, never. I believe life is never going to stop bringing us chances, opportunities and hard choices, and all of those are chosen by no one else than ourselves. I believe we go creating our own future of life. We go constructing our own paths in the park. We are the only owners of our lives and at the end if you regret something when you are old, I am sorry but you have no one else to point at than your self.

I believe that without choices our lives become plane, with bad choices our lives become wasted. I believe that with good decisions our lives become a little bit more worth living.