This I Believe

Kaya - Hyattsville, Maryland
Entered on December 9, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

I was once told “love”; is like a virus. It never goes away, but just hides until brought back to the surface. My first hug, with my first real love, was accompanied by an unexplainable full body weakness. Every muscle from my head, to my toes, relaxed for the first time in my life. My first kiss sent a sharp mild pain down my spine, along with a tingling sensation in my fingers. Every other night I would have a hard time falling asleep. I could only get some rest after talking on the phone with him during the wee hours of the morning. Daily activities became difficult to complete due to sudden episodes of daydreaming. I remember feeling sick to my stomach when I would call him, and get no answer. After curling up on my bed, in hopes of soothing my suddenly upset stomach, my phone would ring shortly thereafter. Surprisingly my stomach pain would go away after hearing his voice. I would get headaches after learning it wasn’t possible to waist my day with him. After we had our first fight, I remember having trouble breathing, as if I was an asthmatic, in need of air. Soon I had to face the mere fact that we had to go our separate ways. Until then, I was unaware a broken heart could really be physically painful. I walked around for months felling like something was prohibiting my heart from fully beating. Some days my whole body would ache after reminiscing about the past. Every once in a while I’ll see something that reminds me of the person I still love, and feel sick to my stomach. No matter how hard I try to leave the past, in the past, thoughts of my past love continue to surface. I believe “love” is like a virus. It makes me feel sick, and even after being suppressed; it still has its ways of flaring up at times.