This I Believe

Anastasai - Conway, Arkansas
Entered on December 8, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love

Who’s Lovin’ You

A lot of people say that they give up on love because they cannot find it. Some couples argue day to day wondering why their “better halves” love them but aren’t “in love” with them. People spend a lot of time making changes, sacrifices, or doing things to make or convince someone to love them, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they could change that person’s feelings about them. People are so busy trying to get someone else to love them without realizing that they don’t even love themselves. If you cannot love yourself, no one can.

I have spent the past year and a half with my fiancé. Our relationship has been off and on, but through all the good and bad we know that we want to be with each other. The problem is that I have sacrificed too much to try to change the way he feels about me. Maybe he would love me more. I have changed the way I dress, talk, even the people I talk to. It seems as though the more I change, the more he wants me to change.

I had to take some time to sit down and think of how I felt about myself. I saw that I was making all these changes and seeing no results. I realized that there was one more change I needed to make. I needed to love myself. Be it the old or new me, I had to love me. Once I began to love myself, my eyes were opened to what I thought I needed to change. I now stand proud of who I am and what I have accomplished.

Even though I am still working on certain things, my fiancé pointed out that he sees that I am taking that step to change, and he sees that I am loving myself for me and not just because he wants me to. That’s all a lot of us ever want, is for someone to love us and notice the sacrifices that we try to make.

This I believe if you cannot love yourself, no one can. How can you expect someone to love you, if you do not love you? You don’t have to change to get love. If you have to change so much, then that person didn’t love you from the beginning. All you have to do is love yourself.