I believe in giving, not just receiving. I have come of age and now I prefer to give. I consume joy in knowing that some other person is being given what I do not need. I am constantly giving old clothes and objects away. I have learned from my grandmother that it is best to have less. This is true; I like to gauge what I get by deciding if I NEED it or if I just WANT it. I must say that I do get WANTS every once in a while. I used to think that material items were the way that people would like you. This is true in the superficial way and those people who ‘like’ you would never stick around in you time of need. Giving is a part of who I am.
I like to give to the people that I am close to. I like to give support and if they need something, I try and make sure the need is met. I am a giver, which has made me vulnerable. I give my time and energy to others, and I am really interested in other people. I like to share and give love. Honestly, I am afraid of being taken advantage of sometimes, but I still go on with my giving ways.
Just recently, and it was a month ago, my best friend of six and a half years suddenly cut off the relationship. I received a text message from her stating that she did not want to be friends anymore and to not call her, her family or come over to her place ever again. I was surprised, so, I immediately called her, but there was no answer. Then I decided to call back, but then it went straight to her voice mail. I left a message proclaiming to her that she could have at least told me over the phone. I did not cry or wallow in any sadness. My mind went blank for a few minutes.
Then, all of the sudden I snapped out of it. I realized that I had given so much of my time, money, feelings and energy into that relationship. I also realized that I am better off with out her in my life; I gave and gave when she received and received. I do not have any hostile feelings toward my ex-friend, but I did feel embarrassed that she just decided to do that to me. In this case, I was on the receiving end, but it was bad news, and in the end I know that it happened for a reason.
I never thought that I would be writing this experience down, but I am giving it to the world and I feel virtuous about that. I am a giver and I plan on keeping it that way.
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