This I Believe

Grace - Kansas City, Missouri
Entered on December 8, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

My friends said I was “girly girl.” I could hear them predict my feelings, character, what I was going say in a certain situation, like they were sure of whom I was. They would laugh and say that I was like Malibu Barbie because of my personality. And I would ask myself, “How do they know what Barbie’s personality is?” She’s not real! How could they compare me to someone her!!!

They would describe Barbie as a dumb blond that loves everything in pink!! In that same way they would exclude me from intellectual things and when I would comment my ideas or input they would say, “ Why don’t you go file your nails,” that I could not think about intellectual things because I should be more concerned about things like my looks.

I could hear them predicts my outfits my next pair of shoes I would buy, and every time that I would confirm their predictions I would hate myself. I started to believe that I was like Barbie. I believed that I was dumb. I could never be as smart as all of my friends because of my love for bright pink things. I started to believe that I would have to pick a major that had to do with looks, with fashion. I did not my true self. I was strong, confident, independent, and had the ability to learn and speak about anything that I could want.

I believe that I am who I am. I cant explain my love for pink, yet I can express my feelings in any way that I want. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am strong because I know who I am.

I searched my true self and realized what I really wanted to do with my life. Yes I had found it… it expressed my passion, my real character. Not something that my friends thought I should be, but someone who I knew I was, someone that truly existed that knew what she wanted. Yes, my major was criminal justice.

I believe that I don’t have to live according to my friend’s ideas of whom I was… I have to live with who I really am, and whom I will become if I let my friends decide who I am. Living a part of my life according to who my friends thought I was gave me a chance to look for myself and see who I really was. I was strong. I could cry and still be strong I could say dumb comments and still be smart. I could not change whom I was but I was not going to hide the true “me” anymore. I am going to live my life according to who I am. Even if it is what people think is the Malibu Barbie.