This I Believe

Ti`Anna - Lynchburg, Virginia
Entered on December 8, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe that I was blessed with 3 fathers. The first father would be God, whom he sent his only begotten son to save my soul from sin. Second, is my biological father whom has never really been in my life because of the hurt that he has with his biological father. The last is my mother whom has been mother and father for eighteen years.

I remember when I was three and I witnessed my mother being abused by my father. Furniture was being thrown and voices screaming. When the police showed up at our door, I remember seeing my father being taken away in handcuffs. Though he was only in jail for one night I knew that he wouldn’t be coming back. This is when I started to believe that there had to be a better life for my mother and me. We moved from house to house until I graduated from high School.

I grew up an angry child who was mad the world for not having a father when I needed one the most. High school years are when I noticed that I needed him. I watched other girls who would have outings with the fathers while I went out with my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything that she has done for me, but sometimes I needed that father figure in my life that a mother couldn’t provide.

When I was ten years old, my father began to make minor adjustments into getting involved in my life so that we could start off from when I was three. But that was only temporary. He was mentally abusive as well as physically abusive and I didn’t tell anyone until I was seventeen years old. When I went to visit him I would never know what it was I would have done to make him so mad at me that he would get physical, but it was evident that he had a problem. I believe this is the reason why I am very reserved and cautious about the friends I keep and the boys I date. I have seen and witnessed what it is like to be in an abusive relationship and I realized that I don’t want to make the same mistakes that my mother did. When I look at my mother, I see hurt and resentment in her eyes. She cries because she thinks that if she would have made the right choice about the one she’d marry then I would have a better life. As I said, things happen for a reason. I cannot take back the past but I can definitely learn from it so that I can have a perfect future.

I believe that God is the creator of all things, good and bad. Though my father does not know him, I know that he will have an account for everything that he does on this earth, and yet I still love him for who he is in my life.