This I Believe

Jamie - battle ground, Washington
Entered on December 7, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: addiction, change

I Believe in the Power of Change

I believe in the power to change and that no matter how bad your life has become you have the power to change it.

At the age of sixteen I began my battle with alcoholism. I became everyone’s worst nightmare especially my own. I was a walking, talking corpse. My eyes were cold and hollow. No one was home. Their was nothing left of me, my heart was gone. I felt hopeless and powerlessness over this evil liquid, alcohol. I didn’t want to wake up and face the day against it, I didn’t think I could function without it. My days consisted of where and how much alcohol I would have for the day, night, even the morning to come.

In and out of rehab, back to the bottle. In and out of jail, back to the bottle. In and out of hospitals, back to the bottle. By the time I turned twenty two I had no family, friends, or home. Just the bottle I was living my worst nightmare. Sitting in a cold, dirty jail cell, looking around. Laying on a mat next to a toilet, reeking of urine and throw up. I got a glimpse of my future if I continued to drink. It was taking me down hard and fast and suffocating my every last urge to live.. Alcohol had taken away my soul, my ability to function in society as a normal human being. That is when my eyes had opened for the first time, I finally realized that I wanted to live.

Now twenty -three I have changed my life and the way I live it. I no longer use alcohol as my crutch. I live life on lives terms. I wake up in the morning and realize how lucky I am to be alive and have people care about me. I try not to take things for granted. I enjoy sharing my story with others. Some might be ashamed to share the life that I have lived, but I am proud of where I have come from and where I am today.

I believe that God has been by my side through my most tumultuous times in life and that he carried me out of my own living hell. I believe in the power of change and that if you put your mind to it anyone can change no matter how bad life has become.