“Parenting skill” is not a “skill”, but rather a work in progress and a reflection of the heart.
How many times I have asked myself to think before I addressed one of my children….only to speak the first words that came to mind. And so many times the words that emerged were not the best words to convey what I wanted my children to hear. Sometimes they were words spoken to me by my Mother or Father, other times they words spoken out desire to protect my children from some of the many dangers of life that I had experienced or feared. The only things my comments and advice given reliably reflected are my love for my children and my desire to help them be better prepared to live happy lives. I really believe that I have things to teach them, both by example and by my depth of knowledge.
What I have learned and now believe is that they learn more when I don’t try to teach or direct, but rather allow them a space to learn on their own. The lessons that seem to stick and the self esteem gains seem to come when they do things…make mistakes and have successes….on their own. My children excel areas they have chosen, not areas where I lead them. That is “OK” with me. My “parenting skill” inproved when I learned when and where to give my children room to fly.
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