This I Believe

Beni - Wichita, Kansas
Entered on November 16, 2006

Belief in Happiness

It is a given fact that everyone goes through obstacles in the course of their lifetime. Their happiness, or at the very least, contentment, of life is disrupted by a difficulty. In my opinion, they persevere through these challenges because they want to return the state of happiness they were at beforehand, or maybe be even happier. Though I cannot speak for everyone, I can speak for myself. I know my previous statement applies to me for I believe in happiness.

As a child, I was forced to grow up quickly and exert an emotional maturity that most children are not expected to show. I had responsibility over my younger sisters and my brothers. I was in training to be a good mother and a good wife at the age other kids were learning to ride bicycles. I never experienced the feeling of receiving toys and being able to play with them. For the most part, I consider myself deprived of a “normal” childhood, a childhood that consists of carefree happiness.

My family situation was not stable at most times of my life. My father has been an alcoholic and drug addict. He and others accused my mom of infidelity. I admit I did not consider my house a home when I was younger. I thought a home was a place I was most comfortable and my house was certainly no that place. Constantly hearing screaming and fighting at all hours of the night and day is damaging to the mental health of a young child, specifically me. I could not physically express my pain for I was too busy taking care of my little sisters, making sure they knew they were okay. Not until this year, my junior year in high school, has my family life gotten close to being stable. In fact, the first half of 2006, I consider being the most turbulent part of my family life. However, with a final divorce, things are reaching a stability with which I am content.

Now, though life is stressful at times, I consider myself the happiest I have been since I was little. No longer do I have to hear the voices of my parents screaming at each other in the middle of the night. No longer do I need to put the needs of my sisters before my own for the sake of their happiness. No longer do I need to choose sides in my family. Pure happiness is all I have ever wanted from life and though I know it may be impossible to reach a state of pure happiness, I will continue to try.

I believe in a feeling that the words contentment or joy or bliss just cannot describe. I believe this feeling has the capability to inspire people to persevere through hard times. I also believe that to obtain the true essence of this feeling, obstacles need to disturb our current state of happiness to make us realize how happy we truly are. I believe in a feeling called happiness.