I’ve tried to be many things in my life. I’ve tried to be a great artist, but I could never quite get things to look just the way I wanted them to; my hands have a mind of their own. I’ve tried to be a genius, but numbers and formulas and other such complex things were beyond my grasp. I’ve tried to be The Funny One, but most times I ended up sounding obnoxious. However, I’ve managed to look past all of these failures and disappointments to try to be one thing and one thing only. Happy. Truly, genuinely, sincerely happy.
It seems that once you are capable of feeling happiness, even in the saddest of times, you can make it through any tough situation. Some days it feels like to world is collapsing around me, or that I’m drowning and no amount of kicking will help me resurface. These are the days when I try to focus only on the things that make me smile. My teachers are yelling at me? So what? My friend just told me a fantastic joke. Forgot to do my homework again? Doesn’t matter, because my boyfriend wrote me a thoughtful note. Are the parents harping about my messy room? That’s okay, because I packed my favorite lunch (cold pizza) today. I have to constantly remind myself of all the little things that make my life special, all of the things that I take for granted. These are the moments in life that I thrive on. I don’t know about you, but how long can you focus on the big picture before your eyes start to cross, and you feel your mind slowly slipping into insanity? No, it’s much better to take life little by little, minute by minute, day by day.
It’s not effortless, this being happy deal, believe me. There are times when I wouldn’t mind throwing this entire philosophy of mine to the wind, curling up in my bedroom, and crying for hours on end. But nothing is solved without a little determination, and of course patience. Everything is solved in time, and the only thing you can do until then is survive. This I believe, and how.
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