This I Believe

Matthew - Boulder, Colorado
Entered on November 6, 2006

I believe that I’m confused and that’s just fine.

I grew up a Roman Catholic, and I’m not sure what that means. I’ve ready the Bible, and I’ve developed an understanding of what it means to believe in the Catholic faith. But I’ve heard too many conflicting things from pastors, and priests, Catholic and not, to really have any idea what it was that Jesus said and meant to say, to you or to me.

I’m confused by the tomb of the Bible and it’s many versions. Is one correct, is one wrong? I’ve never been able to distinguish which is which. Does one person preach from a false text, while one does not? What of it’s history, and what of it’s interpretation. You don’t hear about that in Sunday school, like you do on NPR. Who’s right?

I’m not sure how exactly to think about religion, or how to live my life. I’ve based it thus far on the teachings I think that I can take away from the many sacred books that I have skimmed but never really studied. I’m sure that most people are not even familiar with the slight amount of reading I have done on this topic, but i must say, I can’t hold this stern convictions of many of my fellow man.

Maybe I know too much. Maybe I know too little.

Struggling through this place and this time though, bring me challenge, bring me the joy of other people, and bring me the satisfaction of trying to wade through this reality and feeling good about my experience. Maybe it’s not the way I should go. Maybe it’s not the way I should think. Either way, it’s my way, as confusing and strange as it is, and I’m happy to be able to think for myself, and decide on my path.