This I Believe

Paula - Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Entered on October 30, 2006
Age Group: 50 - 65

I Believe in Post-It Notes

I believe God sends post it notes. Whatever your definition of God is – nature, a higher purpose – that thing that says you are an important part of the universe, but you are not the center of the universe. That feeling that tells you that being nice is way better than being mean. An agnostic is someone who says you cannot prove the existence of God, therefore He doesn’t exist. I am an inside-out agnostic. As long as it apparently can’t be proven, I think I’ll believe. Besides, I’ve gotten post-it notes.

It is the late seventies. I am out of work; unable to help support my family. Those were the days when you could take stuff back to the store without a receipt, and get, if not money, at least something else in exchange. The Christmas presents have been returned for shoes and coats – we need them more than we need a three foot talking doll. I am in the Goodwill store looking for baby pajamas. I am frustrated. I’m angry. Why does life always have to be so hard?

They loved it when I shopped at the Goodwill. My way of telling what I had looked at was to fold as I go. I’m kneeling on the floor going through the bottom shelf of baby clothes. I am searching through this worm pile for anything that looks like flannel. I spot something yellow that looks like pajama bottoms. I pull it out by the waist band and frap it in the air. I need to see if it is the right size. It is. It’s for a baby about the same size as Sarah. But — there is only one leg. The other one has been cut off and stitched across. There is a little square piece of paper attached with a stick pin. It says twenty-five cents. Do you really think someone donated this to the Goodwill? I don’t. I believe it was a post-it note from God. That feeling sorry for myself is a waste of cosmic energy and this pity party is over. It is reminding me that I have been given the great gift of life and reason and resources and a beautiful baby girl who will contribute; who will someday make a difference in the world. Just a little note saying count your blessings. One of those blessings is our first grandchild – Sarah’s beautiful new daughter. Life is bountiful for us now. I am grateful that I can buy little Ella new pajamas. But mostly I am grateful that the higher universe took time out of its busy schedule to send me a note.