I Believe in Fairies
When I was a little girl, my mother would stubbornly insist in the existence of fairies. The effect was that I was very defiant against anyone who doubted in unicorns. The sandman was real, as was Santa Clause, and the wind was alive. Animals could talk, mermaids breathed in every ocean, and beauty refused to disappear for even a moment. As I grew, I realized how stupid my mom seemed, standing by Santa Clause until the end. I felt it my duty to inform her that the world wasn’t that bright; things were not quite so beautiful. Nothing contained such hope. I lost myself. I killed the fairies. Time went by before I discovered that it is when one believes that beauty radiates from life.
Belief begins with me. I forgot somewhere between learning how to ride a two-wheel bicycle and learning how to drive a car that I can do anything. In junior high, I was a very quiet and studious girl, yet I contained a profound dislike for myself. I hated that I still hadn’t had a boyfriend, and that there were skinnier girls. Everyone was allowed to cheat off my paper because I could not stand up for myself. Believing in fairies was far from my mind. I remember trying to convince my little sister that unicorns did not exist. She cried. My sophomore year I stopped going to church, though I did get a boyfriend. My grades started dropping, and that summer sent me spiraling downward into a purgatory of depression.
Nonetheless, I began my junior year with hope; my belief in God would not allow me to do otherwise. It was after reaching the hard bottom that I am rocketing up. I have found something to live for— faith. I smile more now, and people seem not to be against me. But it is difficult to contain such faith in others if one does not first believe in oneself. I learned that in Sunday school: you cannot love your neighbor until you love yourself.
I’ve made a decision. I like that Santa Clause’s one purpose in life is to give. I like that there has never been a mermaid who didn’t appreciate beauty. I like that unicorns are a symbol of peace in a chaotic world, and I like that everyone I meet has the potential to be amazing. I can believe in anything and it makes waking up each morning such a beautiful experience. I can passionately believe in fairies, for what human being does not crave the faith to fly?
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