This I Believe

Tasha - Bentonville, Arkansas
Entered on October 23, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30

God’s Greatest Gifts

I have learned that I do not always know what is best for me or the difference in

what I need or want, but God does. I believe that one of God’s greatest gifts is unanswered prayers.

When my parents divorced I moved to Florida with my mom. She remarried and although I hated my step dad I wanted her to be happy. At seven I was taken from my mom and custody was awarded to my dad. I prayed, begged, and pleaded to be with my mommy. I hated my father and reminded him of that daily. However this changed When he took me to meet my step fathers first family. It was then that I understood what an unanswered prayer was. My step dad was a child molester.

Once I was in the eighth grade I started dating Tony. To me, our relationship

was like a perfect romance you see in movies. what I did not understand was that it was not real; it was just a manipulative boy knowing he could control a lost, naive, and confused little girl. My dad never let me see him and always monitored our phone conversations. I prayed all the time that my dad would leave me alone and let me be happy but he never did. After a year Tony and I broke up. I thought that it was the worst thing that could happen; it turned out to be the best. Tony is currently doing multiple drugs; He is an alcoholic and has been to jail several times. Sometimes I wonder where I would be in my life if God had answered my prayers about Tony.

My entire life my dad has stood in the way of all the things I have wanted to

do. I wonder how many times I pleaded with God for my dad to leave me alone. I am ashamed to say that it has taken me eighteen years and writing this essay to realize that he is my unanswered prayer. His constant no’s have kept me safe and out of trouble. He has never cared about being my friend or if I liked him. I am proud to say that I have turned out to be a good kid and I have him to thank for that. I like to think that all those times I was praying my dad was praying too. Maybe we were even praying about the same things.

God has a bigger plan for me I just can not see it sometimes. In my case, my unanswered prayers may have been answers for my father. I like to think that I know how everything in my life should unfold but it is clear to me that I do not. I trust my instincts, pray, and hope for the best. Whether or not I get the answer I am looking for, I know that what I am given is right, because I believe in unanswered prayers.