This I Believe

Lindsey - Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Entered on October 17, 2006

I believe you are bound to inherit certain things from your parents. Over the past year or so I have been quarrelling with my mother more than I ever have in the past. It’s an uphill battle that I always seem to be losing. No matter how many time she may actually be wrong in an argument I can never say anything back to her; simply because she is my mother.

However I have come to realize something, my grandmother and my mother’s relationship is exactly the same way. This is what makes me believe that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. When World War III breaks out between my mom and grandmother I can’t help but think it’s a perfect depiction of the arguments I have with my mom. My mom and grandmother can never seem to agree on anything. It’s almost painful. I believe they do love each other; however they cannot seem to get past or grow out of certain fights. When my mom was growing up she and my grandmother fought constantly. My mother felt like she couldn’t do certain things or act certain ways simply because my grandmother would tear through my mothers dreams like a tornado. As many times as my grandmother would put my mother down, or cause her pain, my mom could never say anything.

I seem to be my mother 35 years ago: I think I am constantly trying to make my mother happy but it feels like it rarely works. That is how my mom describes her childhood with her mom, a constant struggle that never seemed to end with her mom being pleased.

I do believe that I inherited my mother’s passion and feeling and her desire to please people. My mother is a good woman but she is merely human and can only take so much frustration.

I believe that my future is shaping up to look like my mothers: get frustrated or being overly emotional. I love my mom, but I don’t think my “apple” will have the same strength as hers does. I don’t know how she is able to deal with the war which is still enduring now that she’s 50.

I hope that one day I can simply let go of the arguments my mother and I seem to be having; I don’t want to hold a grudge like she seems to be. I can’t blame her though; I know how difficult my grandmother can be. I just hope that in my future I can focus more on the positive aspects of my mother’s personality and let go of the negativity. I hope that I can take a piece of her apple, but also have my own, new apple.