This I Believe

Rebecca - Gwynedd Valley, Pennsylvania
Entered on October 17, 2006

There is nothing like the unexpected terrible turn of events that has no explanation.

As my family and I lay next to our beloved dog, Chippy, I could not think of any reason why something like this would happen. I knew she was old, but she wasn’t that old, instead she was so sickened by how rapidly her body began to give up. Her chocolate brown, black, and white fur was as soft as it always had been to the touch and I could not bear to think about letting her go. The time came, however, and who was there to blame? Who could explain the reason to me?

When bad things happened to me I would automatically complain and get angry or upset. I would have this feeling that the world was crashing down all around me and there was no way to stop it.

When my parents punished me, I only blamed them and called them “stupid” or “retarded” or any other name that came shooting out of my mouth. When tragedies happened like an unfortunate death of a friend or even someone I did not know, I secretly asked God “why?” and almost got mad at God.

Recently, however, I’ve been trying to step away from anger and blame, and more toward that question “why?” A lot of the time, there is not an answer because life is not about always knowing or finding out the answer. In bigger tragedies and things that actually matter and effect more than just me, there never is an answer. So here I am, 17 years old, and know without a doubt that there is no reason for why things happen the way they do. I cannot give this defining reason, I can only sit back and let things unfold ahead of me, trying to take control of what I can.

This is believe, I believe in fate.