This I Believe

Nancy - West Palm Beach, Florida
Entered on October 12, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, love

True Love is unconditional, forgiving, and blind to outside forces that attempt to pull it apart. Such love as this is the love between a father and a daughter. It is constant and regardless of outer occurrence, the bond of the two is stronger than any other. These outer occurrences can be as simple as the daughter starting school, or getting married, and they can also be as serious as death. The reality that the two may not literally be together does not effect their relationship. Regardless of physical distance between one another a daughter and father’s love will always remain solid, this I believe.

My parents were divorced only months after I was born. As a twisted tradition in America I was, by court order, to live with my mother and see my father every Wednesday and every other weekend. Growing up going back and forth to houses, literally living out of a suitcase by the age of four, I grew accustomed to the life of a “divorced child.” You could say, and many assumed, that I got the best of both worlds, two Christmas’s, two Birthdays, two rooms, and two pets. But I constantly felt guilty for leaving one of parents to go to the other. I was fearful that they would think I didn’t love them equally. As a child, this irrational thinking was expected and I was sure to grow out of it, but I haven’t.

As I grew my activities expanded and I had less time for sit-down dinners, and movie nights with the family. This meant less time with both of my parents, especially my father. As years flew by I began to spend less and less time at his house. First, I only saw him every other weekend, then it was about once a month, and now I see him about 8 times a year, a shocking and shamefully low number. Even though I feel extreme guilt for not being with him, and I constantly regret not going out of my way enough to visit, I still love him, more than I ever have. It seems paradoxical, but as I grow older and we spend less time apart my love for my father grows. It will never cease, there is no amount of space that can limit or restrain our relationship.

True love is continual even when met with extreme opposing circumstances. When I call my father on the phone, even if we haven’t spoken for weeks it’s like we just saw each other that day. There are never awkward moments, or tension, only willingness to talk to one another. Sometimes I question if my father realizes how much he means to me, I wonder if he knows how strongly I believe in him and admire him for being so supportive for me. Our relationship is not conventional, even under divorced parents standards, but I know that I love him now just as much as I would if I had seem him all those Wednesdays and weekends. The miles between us do not make me any less of a daughter, nor him any less of a father. They’re just distance. Distance is meaningless to true love, this I will always believe.