This I Believe

Sarah - Pasadena, California
Entered on October 10, 2006

I consider myself a generous, hospitable person, and I know that I can also be very sacrificial. Going out of my way for someone is a part of me; it is who I am. Growing up, I have been taught to always sacrifice for loved ones. However, I also believe that the values I hold most dear to me are the ones that are hardest to stand by.

As I was sitting on my desk, wondering about what to write for my “This I Believe” essay, I heard my sister call me from the other room. “Sarah, can you please help me with my homework!!!” I was extremely busy at the moment, and did not want to lose my concentration. “How in the world could she ask me something so time consuming, when she knows I’m already doing something way more important?” I tried ignoring her question, but she kept calling and calling until I could not take it anymore. In my opinion, it was not a normal call. After the second time, it had become very annoying and obnoxious. The fact that I did not answer her to begin with, made her think I could not hear, so she continued to call. After a while, my mind went completely blank. I yelled from my room, “I’m doing homework Susie, STOP CALLING ME!”

A few moments later, I heard something that made me literally feel my heart sink into my stomach. My little sister said, in a very faint voice,” But mom and dad are not home, and I …I can’t do this by myself…I need you.” I felt a sudden pang of guilt. I do not know what came over me at that moment. My sister needed me. It came out so genuine and sweet, that I regretted everything I thought and said. I did not take the time to think about her situation, and what she felt. I was still upset about my work, but now, I poured all the blame on myself. I quickly ran to see what she wanted. I apologized to her for being so insensitive to her feelings.

I still do not fully understand why it is so hard to stand firm by our core values. Have we not grown up with them? Should we not know them by now? These are a few of the many questions I constantly ask myself.

Not knowingly, my little sister Susie gently reminded me of how quickly I had forgotten.

There is also another important figure in my life, who has been there for the past four years, constantly putting me back on track. Paul, my hard-working, humble fiancé has been my role model. In these past years, I have learned that he is a very easy-going laid back type of person. A thousand of my “love notes” is just a smile from him. And me, well, I’m exactly the opposite. He defines the word sacrificial. His day to day lifestyle and attitude is enough to make me want to go out of my way, without him even saying anything. Till this day, we both remind each other of how important it is to do the best for each other, and our families, giving the full one-hundred percent. He has taught me how to be understanding of people and their situations, giving them the benefit of the doubt. With that said, I believe Paul was put into my life for a reason. I believe that reason is to help each other in life with our weakness, grow together and learn. I have two people in my life who remind me of what it means to become a more sacrificial, and understanding person. Life is a roller coaster .It will have it’s up’s and down’s. In that time, we must avoid shoving aside our values that we hold dear, with life’s unexpected events. Let us always remember that! This is the lesson I learned, and continue learning.