This I Believe

Loren - Lake Worth, Florida
Entered on October 9, 2006

Live life to the fullest. Believe its the greatest gift that anyone can receive. Let life be the key to everything, live everyday new. You never know when a moment can happen to change the way you see things. When a moment happens take it in but don’t let it change who you are. I believe that when your a child the things you see and do are determined to help define you. When your young your still cared for by your parents and they know whats right for you. The only real tears you ever have shedded was those from falling down on the side walk and scrapping your knee up, or when your brother would rip your Barbie doll’s head off. It always seemed when you placed her head back on she had no neck. How ugly she was with no neck, that you would just have to throw her out. How things only as simple as that bothered you. I used to believe monsters where real, and where actually in my closet and under my bed. You could of told me anything. I would of believed you.

Being young was amazing. To top it off the age six was the greatest. I had everything going for me. I had best friends, greatest family, the coolest cousins. I used to just run out my front door and across the hot pavement to my best friend Taras’ house. We would play for hours. We both had swings that hung from trees in our yards and we believed if you spun them fast enough you could fly away. That was the life then, the summer of 1997. I remember everyday I always had a cool wild cherry slur-pee from 7 eleven, and when I would go over to Taras’ house her dad would beg me for a sip. I believed he was the funniest dad. He always had the right joke to make Tara and I crack up in hysterical laughs. We would end up breathless from some things that he would joke about. After that summer, I was going to be a first grader. That was the coolest thing ever. I was going to fit in with everyone, I just knew it. I was going to get to ride the bus with my cool older brother. I believed he was the coolest kid I knew that was in the fifth grade.

During the summer, playing was my only goal in life. I believed waking up everyday and running around in the sun was the greatest thing in life. Nothing else mattered. I believed that the pool was my daily shower and that falling asleep on the couch was my bed for the night. I believed that playing with dolls for three hours at a time was the coolest thing ever. Screaming at the top of my lungs as I was popcorned up and down on the trampoline was the most fun I could ever imagine. I believed laughter was the greatest feeling in the world. I didn’t understand the true meaning of tears. I only really shedded them when I wasn’t to happy or extremely tired. There was no reason to cry, when every day I could smile.

My childhood memories have sort of faded from me. There not as vivid as they used to be. The colors of my childhood are sort of black and white now. I try to forget the horrid day, but simple things or simple questions make me remember it all over again. The day I would rather forget. The day my dad said “Loly something bad has happened” as I believed something bad happened like the car broke down. When my eyes opened so wide, that tears began to build up and fall like rain drops, when I realized that the bad news wasn’t even close to a broken down car. The shock that something had happened to the love of my life. The day, my mom died. It was a day I can never forget that changed my life and made me believe that the world was a horrible place. The shock in my face when I couldn’t understand what death really was. When I glanced over to my couch and saw my Aunt crying of such fright and I quickly was called over to her. We both just sat crying. Why the only thing I knew had disappeared, had slipped right through my fingers. I remember that morning believing I had to obsessively over kiss her and tell her I love her a million times until she finally rolled away on her motorcycle. To imagine the pain my father went through having to watch her die before him. I believe that is the worst pain anyone can go through.

I always believed my dad as the strongest man in the world, as my hero, he could take care of us go to work and still have time to be our daddy. My four brothers and I where his life now. I remember my dad always having the best advice for moments in life, still does. The best thing he ever told me that always stays with me was ” Even though your mother has passed, and how much you miss her, please stay strong and keep living your lovely precious life to the fullest, because I still am here to watch you grow up into a beautiful person.” My dad gave me every reason to keep believing that dolls where the greatest thing again. I had become Ms. Independent after that summer. I always had to do my own hair, and when I didn’t get it right I would bust out into tears screaming it wasn’t fair I had to everything alone. Playing wasn’t the same, but I tried to smile just for my dad. I believed happiness was far from me. Now when I look back on that day, I try to remember only the good times. I believe that good times are the key to a happy life, and a happy life is way for you to live life to the fullest. Breathe every breath as if it was the sweetest thing you have ever felt in you whole life. Let it be the reason why you live. To have that breath of fresh air every morning. I breathe for me and my mother, because we both think the air is the greatest gift given to us. I live to some day meet her again.