I believe in procrastination. I believe in sharpening pencils while I stall. I believe meta should make it into the dictionary as a free-standing word. I believe believing in the infinite variety of language is way more fun than believing in language purity. I believe in quoting because quoting is what really inspires creativity. I believe if I write this so that it doesn’t appear somewhat cryptic, or so that some of it doesn’t look completely cryptic, none of it will be true. If you want to hear the director’s commentary, you’ll have to wait for the DVD which comes out on Thursday. I believe I can leave my door open tonight and no one will enter uninvited. I believe in Murphy’s Law, so, if there’s some wood around, would you mind knocking on it? I believe superstition gives us something to do when we think we can’t do anything, that it gives me something to say when I need to say something, and that it makes people smile to indulge in it. I believe Vick’s Vapo-rub does pretty much the same thing. I believe anyone could learn to do anything. I believe I will never be able to dance, act, or get people who care about those things to stop telling me I could. I believe humans are all reasonable people who make choices and don’t just act out of stupidity or inertia and that this is as true today as it was when my grandmother was a little girl. I believe it’s not worth arguing with my coworkers about this fact. I believe I can’t trust people who like everyone indiscriminately. I believe everyone deserves to be liked. I believe three quarters of all knowledge and half of everything else is knowing who to ask. I believe Google is not the answer, though it is damned close. I believe in community if for no other reason than I don’t ever want to have to own an iron, an ice cream maker, a truck, or my own copy of Microsoft Office. I believe I’ve milked this reference to Neil Gaiman’s American Gods for all it’s worth.
I don’t really want to let go of any part of me. But that’s dumb; a lot of me should be defenestrated. I’d say my attention to and love of detail, my ability to listen, my sense of humor (puns and all), my voice in writing, my love of oddballs, everything I learned while canvassing – namely, how to spin information and how to laugh when people are assholes – and my ability to turn garbage into something useful should all stay on this side of the window, in no particular order. My fear of people, my fear of bugs, my anal-retentive inability to let go of schedules, my penchant for crying and the tendency for that to make me shut up, my problematic jaw, and my inability to sleep at night and wake up in the morning – should all line up single file and get the hell out in whatever order gets them out fastest.
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