This I Believe

Tanja - Countryside, Illinois
Entered on October 6, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: hope

Tanja Ivosevic

Miss Meyers 1A

10th period

This I Believe

I believe in hope. I hope that things will get better, when life’s harder than expected. I hope that I can overcome any obstacles life throws at me. I hope for only the best. There have been times where having hope was more difficult than usual, that happiness felt like it was far away. One example of a time where I almost completely lost hope, where I could barely grasp on to it, was when I was living with the fact my cousin was dying. I was only eleven at the time, and it was hard for me to comprehend what exactly my cousin was going through. But the look in her eyes, said it all. My family was having trouble going through each day, especially my mother, she was a complete wreck. My cousin was only 23 when she was diagnosed with cancer. After she suffered with it for about four years, she knew she would pass soon, her cancer was too severe, and my family knew it too.

My cousin decided she wanted to go back to her homeland, where she was born, Serbia. She knew she was going to die and wanted to visit her family and be buried in her country. I was in shock for a while when I heard that she really wasn’t going to survive and get better. I just couldn’t understand the fact that my beloved cousin was going to die. That she wouldn’t visit me anymore and bring my favorite chocolates. Or spend time telling me stories while she braided my hair. My big cousin was going to die. I pushed the thought out of my mind and told myself everything would be ok. Then it all came down on me suddenly, and I had to go back to reality.

I was in school one Monday morning when I was called down to the office. I was a little nervous and went through everything that happened that day in my mind, I realized I did nothing wrong and that I couldn’t be in trouble. Right when I got to the office and heard the news, oh how I wished I was in trouble instead. A detention sounded a lot nicer then what my ears really heard. My neighbor and good family friend was at the office waiting for me. She said she was going to take me out of school for a little while. She said she wanted me to visit my cousin before she left to go on the plane for Serbia. I knew this meant this would be the last time I would see my dear cousin. I tried to keep it together and held on to any hope I had left. When I saw my cousin, it looked like all of the joy she once had, completely vanished. When I said goodbye to her, she couldn’t even look me in the eye. I was confused, why didn’t she look at me? Why didn’t she hug me tight? I later realized she was depressed and it was too hard for her to say goodbye. That she didn’t have any hope.

The next few months all my family could relay on was hope. Hope kept us going and kept us close together each day. My cousin died about three months later. It took some time, but my family and I eventually got over the loss. I know this hardship that I had been unfortunate to go through has made me a stronger person. I truly believe in hope. I believe I wouldn’t have been able to get through it as well as I did if I lost hope. To this day, when life gets a little rough, I hope for better days.