This I Believe

Krystal - Northville, Michigan
Entered on October 5, 2006

The Ring Isn’t Important

I believe that marriage is a sacred union between 2 people. It’s something you should take very seriously. But, I don’t think that it’s necessary. Just because you love someone, and want to be with them for the rest of your life, doesn’t mean you have to take vows. Maybe you want to start a family. I do, but I don’t believe that I have to be married to do so.

A wedding is something little girls dream about their whole lives. I know I have. But that’s all they think about, the dress, the cake…not all the responsibilities or problems that may pop up. Weddings are very beautiful ceremonies, but are they essential?

When people get married, I think that they have some notion that things should change. “I’m married now, I have to act married, and be a different person.” Maybe that’s why I don’t know if I’ll ever get married. I don’t think your life should have to change. If things are great how they are then let them stay that way. In my opinion, the only difference between a serious relationship and marriage is the ring and certificate. I already have my own vows, trust, and love for the person I’m with. Why let the label of being a husband or wife get in the way of that?

Most couples think that they have to be married to have children. I don’t agree with that. You wait until you’re married so that you’ll have the support and money to take care of a child. But, if you’re truly in love and in it together you’ll have that anyways. I was a child that went through a divorce. Maybe my parents thought it was the right thing to do to get married, but that’s my point exactly. If you’re not truly in love, the divorce might be inevitable. Divorce is hard on the people going through it, but it’s even harder on the children.

Why can’t you just live your life with someone, and be truly happy; have a house, and kids, and feel ok about that? It may be the way religion makes people feel about having kids out of wedlock, or maybe it’s the way the media portrays unmarried parents. I don’t know what it is that possesses people to think they have to be married to get all of the things they want in life. Like I said, I believe that marriage is something very special. But, if you’re not sure you’re ready for it, then don’t force it just so that you can “fit in” to society. If you’re ready for kids, then have kids. If you want to get married, then do so. But take time making those decisions as they will change your life forever.