This I Believe

Lynne - Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Entered on October 4, 2006

This I believe: Biology is All Screwed-up and Wrong

Biology is all screwed up and wrong. I know this because one year I found myself at my parents’ home in Florida for the holidays. They had just moved into a condo when my mother asked me to help my dad fix a problem with his computer. As a crawled around on the floor my dad walked in and said “I’ve tried reinstalling the audio card, but the speakers still won’t work.” Now reinstalling an audio card may sound like a challenge not for the feint of heart but this is mostly important because my dad was 95 years old at the time. What struck me in that moment was, “Yikes! What will I do for the next 50 years!?”

I was 45 and single that holiday. I had no attachments, a job that I really liked, and my own home. I was generally content but started to think, can I continue to muddle along like this for the next 50 years? Maybe it was time to start a family.

Of course, it had become pretty clear that having a “child of my own” wasn’t an option. And truth is I never really considered it. After all, biology couldn’t be wrong which made me think, would it be a disservice to saddle a child with an “old” mother? But I figured that an old mom was better than no mom at all, and adopted a baby boy from Russia.

In the process I had all kinds of conflicting feelings about bringing a child into a single parent home, with an “old” mom at that – since biology couldn’t be wrong. I mean, wasn’t assuming biology was wrong tantamount to challenging the gods? But one thing led to another and eventually I went to Russia to bring home my son, a “child of my own.”

So now the gods need to listen up. In my son’s and my world there is no conflict between the demands of “climbing the corporate ladder” and spending time together. I finally found what I want to do and am not wasting a lot of energy in search of a career path. I also know that it is ridiculous to feel guilty about taking time to earn a living. And because I’ve been working for so long, I can afford good day care and a baby sitter that’s more grandmother than nanny. I’m not conflicted about loosing my ability to take off on vacation at a moments notice; I had lots of chances and rarely did it. I’ve been through enough of life to recognize a crisis, and your child sitting in the naughty chair 4 times in one morning isn’t one. When we’re out running errands, I sometimes act like a fool just for our entertainment and don’t worry much about what a potential suitor might think. We’re having a great time.

I may have flown in the face of reason too often but on this one I am sure. Biology is all screwed up and wrong.