In truth, there is very little I actually can say I believe in.
Throughout the years, my religion has slowly deteriorated. Through example, I learned that the religion I was taught was completely self-contradictory. The way of thinking I have developed for myself probably differs a lot from the norm. When all you believe in is yourself, getting let down doesn’t hurt so much. One learns to handle their responsibilities in more effective ways. I’ve lost faith in the government as well. We can’t trust the government with anything, can we? They probably think we’re all terrorists. Sadly, I’m losing faith in society as well. Why can’t people accept their differences? Why do they let hate and fear consume their lives? Hate only wastes resources. If America spent a fraction of its military funding on education, things like “NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND” wouldn’t be necessary.
The only thing I can believe in is the independability of this nation, its beliefs, and its way of life. Therefore, I have made myself into the sort of person who can depend upon that independability. You always know what to expect. Who’s gonna win the vote? Well, obviously the one who gets the most votes right? Not necessarily. The one who rigged the system gets elected. The one who has the connections, the upperhand. It sickens me, the injustice. But how much can I do, being fifteen, and female in a very sexist, adult oriented world? I can wait, but by that point they may have destroyed my life to the point where I don’t care anymore.
One way this world has transformed me into who I am now is probably something that has changed everyone. I’m talking about the terrorist attacks on September 11th 2001. We got a good hard smack in the face, a rude wake-up call, but what America didn’t get was the whole story. Again the Government shows us how powerful it is by lying, by not sharing the whole truth, of course its all for the “good of the people”. I used to think, like many children do, that everyone is good, that there isn’t really anything bad in the world. That day, I woke up to crying and confusion in the hallways, on the streets, Everywhere. Whats going on? The principal came in and tried to tell us what happened, without actually telling it. They explained it in a very sugarcoated, “everything’s-gonna-be-okay” sort of way. It was lies, mostly.
I didn’t understand back then, but I found ways to accept what actually happened that day. I found a middle-eastern friend. She had lived in Afghanistan most of her life. She told me that nine-eleven was a tragedy for her too, because she knew it would only bring war.
Bottom line is, people are ignorant and selfish. That’s why people start war, commit hate crimes, bombings, suicide, murder. That is why I can say the only thing I believe in is beleiving in myself, because placing faith in anything besides yourself is dangerous because of how unstable everything has become.
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