I was brought up in the suburbs, a little neglected by my folks. I’m twenty months junior to my only sister, who won favor in my mother’s eye long before I could compete for her attention; if I tried I’d loose, so out of necessity I grew more independent than most parents like.
I have vivid recollections of my Grandparent’s attempts to educate us, me and Sissy, about God and Jesus at a tiny Christian Church down by the Town’s Park.
Now, to be perfectly honest I thought, “I’m a little smarter than average kid, and I can see the things they say don’t match what they do.” Something didn’t add up; if God was so GOOD, why do his people act so BAD?
The thing about Hell got to me though, I had to think long and hard about THAT. Finally I settled into an indifferent place where I felt “comfortable” with it. I figured I didn’t need to worry about that yet, I was still young.
There is something, it’s hard to put your finger on it exactly, about hearing the Bible’s words about God and Jesus; I can only explain it as if it is sweet enough to satisfy something normally bitter inside you, somewhere you can’t describe. Like I said, I was very independent; I put up a wall that kept such things away for a few troublesome decades.
I hated that bitterness though, and tried to get something to water it down from other places like Buddhism, Hinduism; Drugabuse’ism. Strange don’t you think, searching for God through Religion seems hopeless; I pretty much gave up looking and believed (at that time) God was something men imagined.
Well almost thirty years went by, like a flash, and I was mostly settled into thinking I would just have to take my chances. I had a 50/50 shot at getting to heaven and was almost positive Hell was someplace I walked through every day on the way to life.
I wasn’t LOOKING for God to help me, but little things were happening to me all the time I couldn’t explain; things that always seemed to end with Jesus being mentioned or a Bible reference. My wife started going to a little “Full Gospel” Church and got “SAVED” (I had no idea what that meant, at the time). I started smelling that sweetness around me again; like olive trees in the spring.
I remember it clearly, the day God / Jesus just kind of tapped me on the shoulder; I turned around and saw who he was, He smiled at me and held me for a while as I cried out the years of doubt and regret. He placed his arm over my shoulder and we started walking down a new road together, He’s still by my side.
This I believe, with all my heart, when He shows you who He is, THE LIGHT COMES ON, and it NEVER GOES OUT! It’s more than belief, you’ll KNOW HIM!
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