Alive in the Lacking Light
“I believe” is such a powerful phrase. It can be in agreement. It can preface an abstract thought. That one simple phrase can encompass a life’s worth. Or merely sum up a life’s purpose. Tentatively I place my feet in these waters of self reflection. Sitting by the languid water’s edge, afraid to fully immerse myself into what is hidden beneath the murky surface. And yet I take the proverbial plunge. What do I believe in? The answer, for me, is so complicated, yet it sounds so simple. Ask me again what I believe in, and I will respond, “I believe in the darkness before dawn.”
When it was New Year’s Eve, as a young child, I always wanted to stay up until midnight and welcome in the New Year, always hoping it would bring better things than the last. Now that I am older, it is my goal to watch the sunrise; see the darkness before dawn, merely because that is when the world is still asleep to my eyes. The horizon is barely visible in the dark, while I anticipate what is to come, and yet dread it all the same. I see a sliver of red, slowly bringing with it hope and pain; the hope that things will be better and the pain when the realization hits that everything is as it was the day before.
There are a thousand explanations as to why the red creeps up so slowly, and a thousand reasons why it eventually leaves. Which applies to me? Is my life a constant cycle, or is some outside being giving it the motivation it needs?
In the darkness before dawn, the street light casts shadows upon the trees giving them an ethereal glow; a life of their own; a life that ceases to exist in the sunlight. The real night life is not rowdy; it’s almost nonexistent; moving slowly in the shadows, evading the notice of others, not because the light is out, but because none bother to look.
Describe to me in a thousand poetic words the sunset over the mountains. I will not be able to depict a sunrise. No words encompass its glory; no adjective it’s grace; no expression it’s beauty.
I believe that everyone should, just once in their lives, take the time to stay up all night to watch the sun come up. Ward off sleep, because the emerging haze’s beauty is magnified when the eyes are used to dark, when one is not accustomed to seeing in the darkness before dawn. Adrenaline rush and a strange euphoria could be the world’s, if the people only took the time to look out their window; look past their daily lives; look at something they have no control over; something they can never fully leash.
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