This I Believe

Lauren - Geneva, Illinois
Entered on September 12, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: hope, setbacks

My name is Lauren I am 14 years old and I believe in the power of music. Now I know I’m only 14 but I have experienced major trajedies in my lifetime. I am at the moment recovering from a deep depression driven by 4 unexpected deaths in the time spand of 3 years. These four people have impacted my life in ways I can’t put in words.

While I was in my depressive state I was having, as my therapist would call them, dark thoughts. I have not told anyone this outside of my family. I was terrified of myself. It was like I had two different sides to me. One wanted to kill myself the other was sensible and telling myself how stupid and selfish that would be. I had to find a way out. I started to listen to music that gave me a feeling of hope, rememberance, and self-imprtance. I listened to a lot of music before finding two songs by an amazing band called McFLY. These songs were called I’ll Be Okay and Memory Lane. The song I’ll Be Okay gave me hope that I wouldn’t feel like this for my whole life. The song Memory Lane was one that I cried to but in a faithful way. Memory Lane helped me to remember the little things these people did that might have annoyed me at the time or just made me smile. I look back and smile at these memories with love in my heart.

In my time of need I didn’t search for religion, I searched for hope. I’m agnostic because I’m sure that there is no god but I do still believe in a higher power and even though I think we will never find out what the higher power is I think that music is something like a passage way to it. Don’t search for a specific religion. Take things from other religions, your life expericences and make your own decision.