I believe in the bond between mother and child—even when the mother didn’t give birth to the child.
I was born to one woman and raised by another. Being adopted has allowed me to explore the mother-child bond in a unique way. I believe that I bonded with my birth mother while in the womb. I believe that all babies do. I believe that I felt a loss when she left. It lingered as a hint of sadness deep inside me.
When I was twenty-four, I searched for and found my birth mother. It was extraordinary. She was happy that I had found her. That hint of sadness was eased as she and her family accepted me as one of their own. My adopted family was excited for me, and it was a wonderful thing having my birth mother and my mom sitting in the same room getting to know one another.
I was thirty-one when my birth mother died. She died the day after Christmas in 1996. It was very painful. I think about her death often. She had end-stage lung cancer and had been on a ventilator. The day before she lost consciousness, I stood at her bedside holding her hand. I told her that I loved her very much. I thanked her for giving me to my parents because it was where I belonged and I knew that. I then kissed her cheek as she cried.
Two days later, her second husband, my two half-siblings, their father, and I took turns saying good-bye as the machines shut down and she slipped away. It was surreal. I was numb. I couldn’t even cry there in that hospital room.
I did cry later. I cried hard. I cried when I saw my mom and fell into her arms. All I wanted was my mom. I remember knowing how odd it was that I was being comforted by my mom because my birth mother had died. I felt so sorry for my half-brother and half-sister. They just lost their mom, and I still had mine.
It is a one-of-a-kind connection. The mother-child bond is not necessarily a product of the birth process. It is a product of love and caring, time and commitment, patience and teaching, enjoying the good times and working through the hard times. Solid cords of each intertwine with one another creating a bond that is forever unbreakable.
Yes, I believe in the bond between a mother and her child.
Beth Beery was adopted at ten months of age, and she was raised in Boulder, Colorado, where her parents still live. Ms. Beery lives in Lakewood, Colorado, with her two cats, and she works as an occupational therapist. She has enjoyed writing for fun since she was a child.
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