This I Believe

Rebekah - Charlotte, North Carolina
Entered on September 7, 2006

What do I believe? Well I believe that stealing is wrong and lying is wrong. But I think the topic is a bit deeper than that. I think the topic is asking what principles I live by. What makes me makes me? What lesson have I learned that makes me who I am?

I guess I could start with middle school at McClintock. I wanted to be what everyone expected me to be. A black ghetto girl. That was what every one expected me to be, so why not be that way? I started walking, talking, and acting like the rest of the girls did. And guess where it got me? I ended up lying, cheating, fighting, and just so I could fit in with everybody. I got in trouble and had to pay the consequences for my actions.

My parents did what they could to help out with the situation, trying to get me to associate with kids that had the same religious background. But I resisted. Thinking the kids at school had more to offer. I didn’t really learn anything from being in trouble I just continued acting the way they did. And once again I got in trouble and was punished. By this time it was the end of 7th grade. My dad got this great new job. Not long after that my parental units started looking for a house that was in a new school zone, and we moved into a new house, without a hello or a good bye to the apartment and the environment we lived in. Including the old “friends” I had.

So I went to a new school, I was bitter, mad, and depressed. I hated Carmel Middle; I didn’t really know anybody except for a few people that I knew from elementary. I was always being picked on by somebody. But that one year in Carmel, I didn’t in any trouble. I was more concentrated on my school work and did the best I could to ignore what others said.

High school at Myers Park, freshman year was scary but I made 3 friends who were a lot older and a bit different from what I was used to being around. They were the teachers and I was the student, and they taught me a lesson I well never forget. Long story short, I ended up arrested for shoplifting and got in trouble at school for skipping. Got into huge trouble, paid the price and learned my lesson eventually. Sophomore year, I got into a totally different crowd of peers. Who had an effect on my attitude and around this time one of my truest and closest friends stopped talking to me because she thought I was going to bring her down with me. I was extremely depressed and found other ways of dealing with the amounts of pain I had.

Towards the end of the school year, I decided to stop putting my loved ones into pain and embarrassment. I changed my attitude. Throughout those 5 years, I’ve learned to love who I am. I dictated my life to doing what is right and doing what I can to stop doing what is wrong. I stopped worrying about what people expected of me, and decided to my do my own thing regardless of others opinions. I was a lamb trying to be a lion, but if hadn’t gotten my act together I would have been devoured by those lions. I’m still earning back all the trust I lost from my parents and my close friend. But I’m a lot happier. I believe that you should accept the butt ugly truth about yourself and embrace it. I’m staying true to myself. Are you?