If I must choose one thing to believe, it is this: I believe in self-love. I have lived my life constantly comparing myself to the prettiest, smartest, and most talented. I am finally coming to the realization that, as cliché as it may sound, I too am “special in my own way.” I am beginning to love myself for who I am.
He was my first real boyfriend, and I believed my life should center around him. Everything was wonderful in the beginning, slowly things began to change. The compliments changed to critiques. Two years of having a spotlight on my every insecurity, flaw, and fear brought my self esteem to rock bottom. No, he never physically touched me but I faced the truth that I was in a verbally abusive relationship.
It’s been more than a year since the relationship ended and I am now to the point where I can not only look into the mirror but I can actually smile at the girl staring back.
I have learned that my measurement as a human being, my worth, is the pride I take in performing my job — any job — and the respect with which I treat others. I am the equal of the world not because of the car I drive, the clothes I wear, or the calculus equations I can solve. I am the equal to all I meet because of the kindness in my heart. I am me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it. I own everything about me: my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be: anger, joy, frustration, love disappointment, excitement; my mouth, and all the words that come out of it: polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud or soft, and all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own all of my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with me. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solution of the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay. This I believe.
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