This I Believe

Urbee - Solon, Ohio
Entered on August 22, 2006
Age Group: Under 18

My Faith Resides in Raisha

God has been testing my faith everyday, since the day I was born. My sister Raisha’s untimely death from being born premature has been a factor that has dictated my whole life. I don’t remember the day my parents told me that I had a sister, but her existence was never a secret. It was a common fact that happened to be incredibly painful.

As I grew up the way her death affected me seemed to constantly change. When I was younger, I pictured as the perfect sister whom I put on a pedestal. She was my not only my older sister but my guardian angel. I remember visiting her gravesite and hating it because cemeteries are so incredibly depressing, and going there meant that my parents would be in a somber mood. At this point I hadn’t really begun the processes of mourning my sister.

Then I began the transformation from childhood to adolescence and that is when logic and confusion came into the picture. I often asked myself why my sister had to die. What did my family do to deserve such pain? At this point, I was so angry with God. Couldn’t God see that I needed my sister just like everyone else? God’s motives for letting my sister die always seemed to confuse me. She was barely 18 days old when she passed away, and her life had been a constant struggle to stay alive. The whole situation was so unfair, and I found her life and death so very hard to accept.

After a while I realized that my anger was pointless. That instead of being angry with God, I should be faithful. I should believe in God and believe in a hereafter where my sister resides. I realized that instead of being the reason for me to turn away from the path of God, my sister was the guiding force that lead me to become a believer in a higher power. Without believing in God, I would have to agree with the fact that my sister had just been to sick for medical science to fix. I would have to accept that her life has meant nothing, and that is something I will never do.

Raisha is my sister, and for that matter my only sibling. Whether dead or alive I love her like crazy, because she is mine and I am hers. I see other people with their sisters and a little part of me gets jealous because I constantly wish my sister were alive. But I am not that lucky, because honestly her death was just bad luck. My belief in God has given me the strength to accept her death, despite never fully understanding the reasons for it. I am fully convinced that when I do cross over into the hereafter Raisha will be waiting for me. And after waiting a lifetime to meet my only sister I can truthfully say I am looking forward to meeting her.