The Silence of Loud Music
When the music is loud, I hear silence. Music silences the sounds of the world around me. Music creates a place where I can be alone. I believe everyone needs to get away from time to time.
I am the oldest of four children. I have a brother and two sisters. When we were little, we would all play together for hours. It was as if my brother and I were best friends. My parents tell me all the time about how I used to put toys in his crib and climb in with him and play. As I got older I would help him out of his crib, so that we could play in the closet with all of the toys. Then my sisters came along, and we would color, play house, with dolls, and dress up. They would sit next to me for hours as I read them stories. Back then we seemed to get along so well, but now they annoy me every minute of the day.
As I have grown older, I need more time to myself. I have my own room, but that does not matter. They make so much noise. I never get to sleep late. They always wake me up. I have tried closing the door, but I still hear them. All the noise drives my dad crazy. He is always telling them to settle down or go outside. I have tried turning up the radio, but that only makes more noise, and my dad makes me turn down the volume. Music is the only thing I have found to silence my brother and sisters.
Music takes me away into another world. It separates me from all the other noises, sounds, and things that are going on in the house. The music is my own even though I did not make it, I choose it. Music reflects who I am.
In my world the music is loud but this bothers my parents, so I have decided to listen to music with my headphones rather than with my radio. With my headphones on I have blocked the “outer world” from bothering me. This allows me to be alone and have time to think and just relax. When my brother and sisters are getting on my last nerve, I go up to my room and put my headphones on. Something about the music helps relieve a lot of stress and cool me down.
On family road trips, they are at their worst. When I want to sleep, they will not let me. They will constantly interrupt me by saying, “Hey Dana look at this,” “Hey Dana watch me do this,” “Dana pass me the food,” “I want a drink Dana,” and it just goes on and on. So, I just put my headphones on. Even though they are right there in the car, it is like they are far away. I see their mouths moving, but I can not actually hear them. It is as if I have tuned them out. They talk to me, or at least try, but I just say, “Sorry, I can’t hear you, so stop yelling my name and leave me alone.”
I do not expect that my brother and sisters will annoy me forever. That one day we will get along like we used to. I believe that this might actually happen because my dad and his sisters get together at least once a year, and get along great. They are always talking about how when they were about my age they used to fight, argue a lot, and want to kill each other.
I believe that everyone needs a time every now and then where they can be alone, and music is a great way to do so.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.