This I Believe

Watkins - Hadensville, Virginia
Entered on June 19, 2006

THIS I (DON’T) BELIEVE

I don’t believe:

In the Tooth Fairy.

In ghosts.

In astrology.

In miracles.

In magic.

In the supernatural.

In a supernatural deity.

In the Pledge of Allegiance.

In mindless patriotism.

That I am still alive.

That I am single at age 60.

That we will ever meet space aliens.

That we will ever hear from space aliens.

That television is still so much crap.

That fuels are so expensive.

That cars are so expensive.

That cars are still the primary means of US transportation.

That idiots still question the imminent dangers of global warming.

That Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas are on the Supreme Court.

That the President does not accept the basic validity of Evolution.

That Jesus would be a Christian if alive today.

Anything that Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell says.

Anything that the present government says.

That the President and NASA are pissing money away trying to mount a Mars mission.

That most of the press corps are so credulous.

That the courts have not yet put a stop to US detention and torture of Muslims.

That Democrats are still supporting the President’s brutal, mindless pseudo-war in Iraq.

That Democrats are such worthless pussies.

That bigotry and overt hostility directed at homosexuals are still legally valid and acceptable.

That a majority of citizens still supports organized prayer in public schools.

That a majority of citizens still supports government subsidy of religion.

I do believe in the primacy of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, and that they apply to everyone worldwide.

I do believe in Santa Claus as the spirit of Christmas.

I don’t believe this is being published on NPR.