This I Believe

Jaynee - Hillsboro, New Hampshire
Entered on June 19, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, love

My shoulder to lean on

“Get out of the way Jaynee, we don’t want you to play with us,” is something that I heard from my brother Tom almost everyday through out my childhood. I have two brothers. Alan is five years older then I, and Tom is three years older. I was always, and still am constantly babied from my parents, I guess that’s what its like for every family right?

My brother Tom seemed intolerably cruel to me in our early adolescent years.

Tom and his friends would take my dolls and cut their hair off and hit them with there fake swords and laughed when I cried about it. We would fight over who got the front car seat, or the window seat. We would get angry easily if the winner of Monopoly was gloating. When I had my friends over and we slept in our tree house out in the woods, he would come out and crawl on the roof and make scary sounds. And of course being little girls we would crawl into balls and cry. He was part of the reason I slept in my parent’s room until I was thirteen. I remember accidentally knocking down his blocks and he tackled me and hit me. My parents weren’t home so Alan had to come in and throw him off of me. We would fight so brutally and only stopped until one of us cried or started to bleed. Alan was always tough on Tom for being so rough with me.

When I think about it, I really did do my share of bothering. I was the typical little sister. I would always ask to play when he was working on something important and annoy him until he would finally give in. I wouldn’t turn my music down when he was trying to read for school. I always tagged along when he had sleepovers and wanted to be in the same room as him constantly. I always told on him when he did something that he wasn’t supposed to. I always copied the bad words that he said, even though I didn’t know what they meant, and would say them back. I copied the things that he did, and the things that interested him; in a way I idolized him. I liked to shoot things with a paintball gun and play football and come home with dirty clothes and bruised knees because he did. It was because of Tom that I had the worst eight-year-old mouth ever.

As we grew older we grew closer. He started to let me play with him, and even be nice and let me win games occasionally. He started to let me tag along with his friends and him when they would go on adventures in the woods, as long as I carried their things of course. He would let me ride on the back of the dirt bike with him. He would tell me secrets and trusted me not to tell anyone, and I didn’t. He would ask for my advice about the ways of charming girls. On long trips we would make funny faces to people driving by us and duck after we got everyone’s attention. We would go for bike rides, throw rocks in the river, and peek at our Christmas gifts and act surprised on Christmas morning. He would let me sleep in his room with him and we would talk for hours about the hardships of our troubled adolescent lives.

Tom is currently attending college in Savannah, Georgia and will someday do great things. With his creative imagination, and his charming personality nothing can stop him from accomplishing his dreams. There are times when I regret the way we treated each other, but then there are times when I am happy that it was the way that it was. The time we spent fighting and arguing is somewhat regretful. Childhood goes by too fast to be negative and hateful all the time. But nonetheless, I feel that I am a stronger person both mentally and physically because of the things that we have been through together. Even though we still have our quarrels, and no matter what faults he makes in his life, I will always give him my love and support, and give him my shoulder to lean on when ever he may need it – this I believe.