Throughout my 18 years of life, I have always heard teachers, friends, parents repeat the same idioms over and over. All of them are along the lines of, “If you want it bad enough, it will happen, or the harder you work, the more will come.” You could say I’ve grown up with those fused to the back of my mind, and in saying so they do pop up once in awhile to remind me of their presence. These are good messages to keep with you through your life, but I have come to realize that there is something more to go along with them.
I am a serious ski racer. This winter I was having a good year for myself, earning a better ranking, and making it to the Eastern Finals where you can compete for a spot to go to the U.S. Nationals. For me it was a big deal, everything was exciting and had so much promise. I thought I was ready to show my “hard work” and have it pay off; finally this would be my big moment where it all would happen. We had four races for the series and they were not going as I had hoped. It came to the last race and I was still not skiing like myself and what was most annoying was that I couldn’t figure out why. I started to get frustrated and mad because I knew I could ski much better. What was wrong with me?
I finally came home after a week of grave disappointment with nothing accomplished. I started thinking about what happened and began to doubt my abilities and slightly convinced myself that all of the fast skiing I pulled off before was because of luck. I really wasn’t looking forward to the next race which was two days later.
Every time I go out of the starting gate, I ski like it is my last time. I’m confident and smooth and aggressive. I worked hard to get my skiing the way it is by believing in myself and never giving up. So when I skied fast at that next race, I knew that the problem wasn’t me. I came to the conclusion that some things were not meant to be and there’s nothing you can do to change it. I was just not meant to go to the Nationals this year.
I believe that some things are meant to be and others aren’t. I can’t blame myself for everything negative that happens to me; I just have to accept it and move on and trust that if it should happen, then it will. With hard work and dedication I can get to where I want to be, but there is something extra that leads us to what is right.
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