This I Believe

Mercedes - bethel, Vermont
Entered on June 12, 2006
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: courage, setbacks

This I believe

When was the last time you went without breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Have you ever gone without all three? I am sorry to say that this happens a lot in America, it has even happend to me. I was abused as a young girl.

One example that happend to me was when my birth mothers boyfriend was being mean to one of my birth sisters I told him to stop. he grabbed me by me hair and swung me around. My hair ripped out of my head and I landed against the wall.

Fortunately i was able to get out of that situation. But some people live with it their whole lives.

The biggest effect that this had on me was that i became afraid, I felt like this was this was how a regular family functiond. i became a very quiet kid at first, but then later I became aggressive, especially twords men who were taller and heavier then other people.

I was placed in foster care at the age of five; the stuff I had to deal with at a young age affected me so seriously that when I was mad I thought that it was ok to hit, kick, scream and things like that. I was often hard to deal with but all I needed was someone who was more stubborn then I was.

I went from home to home because these homes felt i was just being difficult. I finally found someone who could handle the problems that I had.

But you know the saying, “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”? Well to tell you the truth, it does. I know that people are seriously hurt by these experiences, but there are also people who use abuse as an exuce to act the way they do. That isn’t me. I chose to learn and grow from my experieces. I have learned how to treat people the right way. But that doesn’t mean i don’t live without the effects of abuse, for example whenever there is a loud noise I jump or I get frazzled when there is a lot of yelling or babies crying loudly.

I have been able to help one of my birth sisters throught some tough times. But I don’t get to see my youngest birth sister. When the three of us were put in foster care we were all split up. That is sometimes what happens when you go into foster care. You often live with people you don’t know. If you don’t behave with that family, you will go through the whole process again; finding a new home, get to know them, and learn to live with them.

Now I am sixteen and doing really well in highschool. I visit my birth sister often. I have just started to talk to some of my birth family. I am happy and healthy with my adopted mom, younger brother, and older sister. I would like to go to school for criminal justice so that i can try and save kids from experiencing what i had to go through.

My experiences aren’t uncommen; there are a lot of kids who are waiting to be adopted, or who are being abused right now. It’s not easy feeling unsafe at home. I would like to change that for kids all over. I know that i can’t change the effects of abuse on my own, but i hope that if I start talking that people will start listening and get the message.