This I Believe

Patrisha - shepherd, Michigan
Entered on June 8, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: death

Have you ever looked in the mirror and hated your life and wanted something better? Annie a well-known Broadway orphan wanted something better. My life isn’t as hard as others but I have had a hard life. Growing up the youngest of eight, I wanted something better. I was never popular and I never seemed to belong. All throughout my life, I was teased and taunted. When I was little I thought the kids would grow up and stop the teasing, but that never seemed to happen.

I remember in fourth grade I got yelled at by the teacher because I complained to her about being teased. I happened to get detention while the teasers got nothing. I have always wondered in the back of my mind why I got punished for someone teasing me. Years passed and I started sixth grade, school was fine until one night when my mother got a phone call. The call had told my mother that my great grandparents had been in a car accident. After their funerals my life just kept going down hill. I was deep in depression and was thinking about suicide and the teasing at school and home did not seem to help.

Years kept passing and with each year a loved one of mine had died. After my great grandparents passed, my other great grandfather died and a year after that my cousin died, too. However, my freshman year in high school no one died in my life, but that happened to be the year of the September 11th attack, ironic right? In my sophomore year two of my friends died in a car accident and that hurt the most. My junior year my cousins girlfriend had a still born baby and then my senior year my grandmother died. Now I am a freshman in college and not even a week ago I was told horrible news. My grandmother has terminal cancer and only has one to two months to live.

I believe life isn’t fair, nor will it ever be. I believe this because of all the deaths and troubles that have occurred in my life and how some individuals have very little hurdles to jump over life just isn’t fair. Some individuals work for what they want and others are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Life is not fair nor will it ever be and that is what I believe.

Still to this day I get teased but that doesn’t compare to the lives I’ve seen slip away. I don’t think about suicide anymore and I am not as depressed as I used to be. I always remember that others are worse off than I am and they would rather have mine life than theirs. Even though I believe life is not fair, nor will it ever be, I have dreams and I live my life to the fullest knowing that tomorrow might never come.