This I Believe

BethAnn - lansing, Michigan
Entered on June 8, 2006
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: children, family

Why can’t they?

Imagine loving someone more than life itself; so much you would die for them. Now, imagine being told that you can only see that person once or twice a week, or not at all. That is how my brother felt when he was told he could only see his son every other weekend and three hours on Wednesdays. That’s also how my boyfriend felt when he was told he could only see his son on Thursdays and Sundays. Both of them love their children more than anyone else in the world and fought so hard just to be able to see them for those couple days. They are both loving, they would never hurt their children in any way, shape, or form. They are both financially stable. So it really breaks my heart that they don’t even get to see the person they have SO much love for other than just a couple days here and there.

I know that some fathers are not fit to raise a child on their own, but what about the ones that are. Why do they get punished for the “deadbeat’s” mistakes? There are a lot of fathers out there that would be great parents and that would love the chance to prove it, however, they either don’t see their children at all or only once in a while. I just don’t understand why there is so much prejudice against fathers. What is so much greater about mothers than fathers?

Another thing I don’t get is that the father is a great parent until the parents split up then all the sudden he’s not fit. Just because the mother doesn’t like him anymore then he shouldn’t be allowed to see his child. Why can’t people just put their differences aside for the sake of their children?

Kids need a mother AND a father, not a mother and sometimes a father. If the father is the one not wanting to see his children then I could understand why the mother wouldn’t want him in the kids’ lives because she doesn’t want them to be disappointed by their father. However, if the father is whole hearted about wanting to see his children and would not physically or mentally harm them then why can’t he see them just as much as the mother?

Guys may put on a tough front but when it comes to their children they get very emotional. I’ve seen first hand from more than one father how emotionally draining not having their children is for them. That’s why when a father wants to be a part of his child’s life he should not be turned away or made felt like he doesn’t deserve the rights. Not all fathers do want to be a part of parenting so the ones that do should be treated as equal as the mother. Maybe if that happened other fathers wouldn’t be so discouraged about fighting for their children.